Snowy finds Love at First Sight

One the way home from our adventures in Tosail Island, as we were driving down the road, suddenly Kirk stood on the brakes and turned the car around in the middle of US117. “We’ve GOT to get a picture of Snowy  with THIS!” he proclaimed.

Snowy seemed to warm right up to the the Man in the Boat. We figured maybe it was because of her penchant for southern fishermen. Or maybe it was because this man was, well, made out of plastic just like her.

Whatever the strange connection was, the Man in the Boat must have felt it, too. Because upon closer inspection, we found a little something in the bottom of his boat.

Birth control pills??? We were perplexed. How did they get there, we wondered? Could this really be happening? Our little Snowy had to check out the situation for herself.

Snowy didn’t care where they came from. Snowy didn’t ask any questions. As far as she was concerned, this was the Man for her! He’s PERFECT for me, she crooned. She wasted no time getting a litle closer to him and checking him out.

“Hey there, big boy,” she whispered, seductively. “Go ahead and touch my fluffy feathers. You know you want to.”

“Oh baby, baby” the Man panted. “Let’s get out of here and go for a ride!” Snowy was ready, too. She didn’t care if he was a plastic man with no legs. After all, she was just a plastic flaming with cheap glued on feathers! Goodbye, little Snowy and good luck with your new romance.

We were all a little misty-eyed as they waved good bye. We were happy for Snowy, and glad that she had found someone who, at least, shared her strong beliefs in safe sex.

Well, Klinton was a tiny bit upset, when he learned that Snowy had chosen a legless, plastic man in an ugly wooden boat… over him….. but, that’s another blog.

Snowy does Topsail Island

It was a beautiful October day. Snowy and her friends decided to head out to Topsail Island. The Autumn in Topsail Festival was taking place that weekend – an arts and crafts show, complete with live music, street food vendors and a beer and wine tent.

While everyone else was taking in a gorgeous veiw of the Intracoastal Waterway….

….our wild, little rule-breaker was sneaking off, trying to get into some more trouble!

Snowy thought this guy was kinda cute… he reminded her of her husband!

Who is this, and what is this man doing? It’s Kirk, down on his knees, trying to get a perfect photograph of Snowy!

And here’s the fruit of his labor of love. Snowy, in all her glory, looking like a darn beauty queen!

After posing for her glamour shot, Snowy was ready for a cup of coffee.

And a snack of some boiled peanuts! Snowy loves nuts almost as much as she does hot dogs!

It wasn’t long before Snowy discovered the wine booth.

And the beer! And the cute beer man! This poor guy had never been hit on by a flamingo, before.

No, Snowy, you cannot drink it straight from the tap!

Snowy was quite impressed with the handiwork of the local artists.  As usual, she was a little confused and kept trying to proposition the wooden flamingo! Well, you can’t blame a girl for trying.

She really got into the spirit of the festival and jumped up on stage to sing some beach music for the admiring crowds.

Then Kirk decided to take Snowy for a little ride, thinking he could get her to cool down.

They checked out some missles at the Missles and More Museum. Snowy! Get your mind out of the gutter!

And climbed up the water tower. Snowy LOVES climbing towers! She wasn’t cooling down, Kirk!

Snowy even tried to talk these poor people into a threesome! A menage a trois!

Snowy, Snowy, you just need to…..

No No Snowy, not that! You just need to……

Snowy goes to the dogs

This is Snowy passed out. She has “confessed” to us the reason behind all the debauchery of her wild night, but sadly, her poor little plastic flamingo brain has lost some of the details of what really happenned. As we say down here in North Carolina, y’all…..she was a few crackers short of a pack of Nabs.

As you can see, Snowy did a little more than just smoke a joint and drink a whole bottle of wine!

Then she remembered a tee shirt she saw the day before and POOF! she had an idea!

Oh NO!! Don’t do it Snowy!! He’s your good friend’s husband!! Snowy, have you NO SHAME??

Well, as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. Evidently, our little Snowy was too far gone to realize what she was doing….

 

Later, she tried to explain it all away by saying she was just having flashbacks of The Trolley Shop and the great hot dogs she had there.

Frankly, even the dog was shocked….

 Afterwards, she went behind the elephant ears. Lord only knows what she was doing in there…

It was a wild night, to say the least. In fact, we think it’s safe to say that Snowy….truely….on this night….went to the dogs!

Snowy’s Confession

Snowy:

“I’m so sorry I drank so much last night, and made such a fool of myself, but I was drinking to forget. I’m having a mental breakdown, here, and I need to confess something. I got up there on that beautiful Johnny Mercer’s Pier and, suddenly, I forgot all about my poor husband at home in his pitiful hemmoriodal condition! It was the smell! It was the fishy breeze! The devil made me do it!!”

“I WANTED to be TAKEN by a red-neck Southern Fisherman!! OH MY GOD!! What have I done??”

Snowy definitely was “hooked” on the fishermen. After a night of drinking wine, trying to forget, she was so sorry and felt soooo bad.

We, her good friends, helped her out with an ice pack for her little head and a few Ibuprofin for her aching brain. Sadly, nothing could heal her achy breaky heart. Unrequited love between a pink, plastic flamingo and a red-neck southern fisherman is a sad thing, indeed. Poor little Snowy.

Snowy does Johnnie Mercer’s Pier

No visit to Wrightsville Beach is complete without a stop at her local landmark, Johnnie Mercer’s Fishing Pier. Located in the center of the island, this magnificent concrete structure was finished in 2001 to replace an older, wooden version which was destroyed by Hurricane Fran in 1996. Snowy, wise bird that she is, insisted to be taken directly there after lunch, so she could dip her flip-flop clad feet into the cool Atlantic Ocean and stroll on the fishing pier of choice for so many anglers.

Unfortunately, Snowy was not paying attention to the fierce undertow. She was too busy feeling the wind blow through her fluffy pink feathers to realize the grave danger she was in. Suddenly, she was toppled over into the water and almost drowned! If not for the lightning quick reflexes of her friends, she would have surely perished in the ocean.

Sadly, the near-drowning experience had an unfortunate effect on the fluffiness of Snowy’s feather “doo”.

To console herself from the embarrassment of such a ratty looking appearance, Snowy decided to ask her friends to help her out! Nothing like a good blow job to make a gal look better!

For her next adventure, our wild girl Snowy meets a real man – a southern fisherman…with all the proper equipment!